I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
