Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
