You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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