he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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