We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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