I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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