he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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