You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
