like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize