i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
