And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
