i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
