he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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