STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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