yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
