they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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