the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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