It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
