you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
