xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You were trust falling into bushes
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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