I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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