Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize