You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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