it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize