ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
