we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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