He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
