i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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