I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize