I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
