So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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