she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
