break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
