watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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