so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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