The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
