Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
