i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
