Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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