we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
