Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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