i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
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