It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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