"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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