So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
