I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I need water and some morals
Randomize
