She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize