And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
