Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
