you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
sex in a hospital.. check
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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