im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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