my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
