I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
