And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
