you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
