I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
