I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
