My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
