remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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