Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
