Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
