guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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